Posts Tagged ‘reality’

Traveller

Posted: June 30, 2014 in Poetic Paths
Tags: , , , ,

His wine is the distance between each place,

The miles and metres intoxicate.

As he draws closer to where he desires,

He drowns in heightened mind-state.

For time was no barrier as he made his way,

It pleased to see light fall and fade.

Under night, stars and moon, fear lit many fires,

When city lights couldn’t reach his place.

Specks dot the sky and even landscape,

In majestic view too grand to take.

The dark brings with it many liars,

But he need not worry in his silent state.

Destination is destiny each time he reaches

Out beyond static man’s releases.

In a new alley under new cardboard sheets,

Our traveller finds a foreign land to sleep.

The Traveller

The Traveller


I sat in a room that sits in me,
Some call this room Reality.
It spun and twisted to bring me pictures
Of life beyond what my senses insisted
Revolving and dizzying my heart it rendered
Me helpless to decide on which path it ended.

I sat in a room that sits in me,
Some call this room Reality.
A dream turned live with the blink of an eye
Yet forgotten and replaced by a distracting high
With space to grow more than any place before
That I experienced in fullness for a few seconds, no more.

I sat in a room that sits in me,
I call this room Reality.
With journeys begun but never complete
It’s the story you start but never believe
Having you as the main character playing many roles
But you’re played by the roles without knowing your cause.

I sat in a room that sits in me,
I called this room Reality.
I opened its door, and unfortunately
Its label said Potentiality.


In case you haven’t noticed, The Maze has a thing for Dreams. It’s a topic that is inexhaustible, and yet can become quite clichéd without any foundation on reality. Most people can dream. That isn’t the issue. Getting those dreams out of the realm of your imagination is where we find problems. It’s not something we’re taught at school, or that comes up in normal discussion with people. Somehow it’s an elusive part of the life-process that we’re left to figure out and grapple with on a day-to-day basis…or even ignore if we want. So The Maze thought he’d give you a little help in dealing with this issue.

THE DREAM
This is the easy bit. A lot of times our Dreams are not our choice. Did you know that? Whatever it is that went through your mind that night wasn’t a voluntary decision. Yes it had a lot to do with what drives you, what inspires you, what you think about…but the Dream as you know it wasn’t a conscious choice. A lot of times I’ve heard the phrase “you don’t choose your dreams, your dreams choose you”. It’s a strange concept to consider, but one that makes more and more sense to me.
You will have a picture in your mind of what your desired reality looks like. Another word for this would be vision. Make sure you do everything in your power to keep this Dream vivid in your mind. Write  it down, put up posters that represent it, listen to people who talk about it…whatever the case, your first step to making it a reality is to place it in the physical world where things like forgetfulness and apathy won’t zap it away! It’s a great way to make sure it lasts a lot longer the way you saw/believed it originally.

Stop looking at me… DO IT!!!

THE DESIRE
Having had the Dream and making it visible, another step worth considering is how much you want it. This seems simple enough, but things like encouragement and motivation are easy to experience in moments, but hard to keep up over time. You’ll have to learn how to encourage yourself in your life, because there are plenty of opportunities to forget your dream, and even more to let go of them entirely!
Have you got any quotes that inspire you? Stories of success that motivate you? People that speak to you in a way that makes you feel like a superhero? If not…GET THEM! Once you have these things in place, make them easily accessible. I know people like the “self-talk” idea, if that works for you, then do it! If you have to memorize affirmations, or schedule times of day when you access these tools, do what it takes to keep yourself motivated to go after your dream.

THE DOUBT
No matter how strong you are, you will face doubt with most great things you want to do. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to change the world, or just get into university, doubt is a universal experience that we must all overcome. Sometimes it can stop you dead on your tracks, and sometimes it can actually get you to think outside the box. Whichever you experience, you have to beat this, and force it to work in your favor. It’s always a choice how Doubt can make you feel, and that’s the good news, cos Doubt will always come in some form, but can’t decide for you!

A tip I’d give (and please use in context, and not as a universal ‘excuse’), is to avoid certain “doubt-birthing questions”. These are questions that early on in your process of bringing your dream to life, could trip you up easily, and yet later become important. Questions like “How will it happen?”, or a classic for entrepreneurs, “Where is the money gonna come from?”
Don’t you HATE those questions when you’re just trying to be excited about possibilities? I know I do! Those questions tend to develop answers by themselves as you mature in your process of making your Dream a reality. Just don’t give up too soon, or else you might miss the answers!

THE DEED
Here is where the REAL magic happens, and where all the ‘nice talk’ ends! This is where you’re no longer JUST talking, or writing… It’s the place of actualisation. This is where you learn to make connections that can help, and work on plans to move forward. People fail many times in this part of the process!!! No Dream that’s worth it will happen without HARD WORK!

There is ample opportunity to drop the ball here, so you’ll need perseverance, determination, confidence, and throw away that pesky fear of failure!
Great people aren’t afraid to fail, because they can learn from failures!
You’ll need to have goals for this to work, because goals put you onto a path, and without paths, there is no destination!

So with that, DO THE DEED OF DESIGNING YOUR DREAM.
A real Dream will have enough room in its house for others…many others!

Be Responsible
Be a Mature Dreamer!

Over.


And the award for “Most Random Title” goes to… Well, maybe it’s not THE most random title for a blog, but it definitely captures the essence of the message I’m going to convey (which is the job of any title actually…in case you were wondering). Thinking of all the activity most of us take part in, is quite mind-blowing. We wake up…dress up…eat up…work up (ok that didn’t work)…talk to people…make decisions…feel emotions…desire…detest…etc! It’s an absolute smorgasboard of activity; all of it is a choice of some kind, driven by some…thing. What is that ‘thing’? What is the motivating factor in all of this stuff we call a ‘life’? Well to answer this I’m about to do something none of us (who are human and think rationally) likes to hear: I’m about to answer a question with a question!

I believe in all that we do, we can ask a simple question, which will answer my previous one. I’m sure you’ve all heard it before, and have all thought about it before. When you do anything, consider anything, or even after going through some event, you’ve probably asked this question:

What’s the POINT?

What drives us? The point. What motivates us? The point. What is that ‘thing’? Well I don’t know, i just found it there! All activity has a point. If you were to look at a map to find out where you want to go, you would look for…you guessed it: a point. Any ‘point’ that motivates us, is actually a destination we would like to get to. In fact, ‘destination’ could easily be a synonym for the point, as it encapsulates what we’re trying to achieve in whatever we do, we’re trying to get to a destination in our lives. This destination is the reality we hope to create through our activity.

Now, previously I stated that all activity has a point. That’s the easy part. Everything you do in your life, big or small, has an end to it, and everybody is just doing stuff! There’s lots of activity taking place today. Look around you… Life is action-packed! The hustle and bustle is everywhere, even when you have tough times, they come with their own set of actions to perform. Whether you like it or not, you’re always doing something. Even when you’re doing nothing, you’re doing something. I see people moving, talking, thinking, working…some even sleep! The lives we lead are full of activity, and all activity has a point.

With so much going on, sometimes I wonder: how many of us even know the point of all that we do? Have you defined the point? This is something to ponder on greatly, because there’s a whole lot you probably do for better or for worse, but do you know which is which? It’s important to think about this because all activity has a point, therefore all activity has a destination! It isn’t easy to keep track of our ‘points’, but in this day, it’s easy to lose track. Sometimes, you understand you’ve just got to get into the grind for a while, or really focus on something for a season; I just ask myself sometimes (admittedly more recently than previously…even The Maze learns!), “What is the point?” Like I’ve said, EVERYBODY’S doing SOMETHING, and though realising that all activity has a destination, that’s the easy part. What grabs me is this next statement, and this is the hard part:

Not all activity takes us to the point we want to be!

It’s easy to get caught in the trap of “pointless action”. Now, nothing is truly ‘pointless’, but many things we do probably have no defined points to them. Please don’t get me wrong, there are also things that aren’t so life-defining that they warrant a ‘point’. Some conversations are just fun, or a way to pass the time; some events are just for the moment; even some people in our lives are just…there (you KNOW I’m telling the truth)! I’m not asking you to become legalistic in your pursuit of a ‘pointed life’, what I am asking however is that you pay more attention to your activity. Massive amounts of time are spent living in ‘auto-pilot’, and if you’re not careful your plane could land somewhere you never expected!

Tip: ENGAGE YOUR LIFE AGAIN!

You probably need to make some changes, big and small, but mostly small. I say that because it’s small things that make major differences over time. If you can connect your ‘points’, they will lead you somewhere you want to be.

Why engage? Well, I’m about to do something you probably don’t like, and I’ve done it earlier in this post: answer a question with a question… Why do so many people have desires, and yet so few reach them? I mean, everybody’s doing something… It’s just that most of it is possibly ‘pointless’. Action-packed lives, complete with waking up and going to sleep, but no defined point!

Do your life a favour:

GET TO THE POINT!

Over.

Letting Go

Posted: March 14, 2011 in Paths To Conquer
Tags: , , ,

If there is anything you will struggle with no matter how stable/rich/happy/wise you are, it’s ‘letting go’. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship gone sour, a divorce, the demise of a project you put everything into…this fact of life will haunt you without prejudice! It catches you by surprise sometimes like life carrying on as usual, then in a single moment your stability is swept away from you! Sometimes, it makes you suffer in the agony of knowing it will come like a close family member suffering from an illness for months before they pass away. Yet at other times it can taunt you like a pending decision from a court case in which you are the defendant. Whichever way it comes, the resulting reality is that it forcefully removes something/someone in your life that was part of what you became comfortable with.

That is exactly why it’s so hard, because we ‘settle in’ to people and environments and can’t imagine what it would be like without them. Literally, your mind will not have the imagination or the capacity to paint a reliable picture of what the experience would be like to carry on without that entity.

(N.B. when I say ‘imagine’ I’m also including the emotions, and thoughts that come with the reality you’re trying to picture. It is important to note this as you continue reading.)

Ladies, when he loves you and says “I can’t imagine my life without you”, he actually can’t! What he’s telling you is “I’ve got no clue what my heart would feel or how my everyday experience would be without your part in it. I’ve settled in the thought of you being present so much that it’s now an inextricable truth of my mind that you are here! I’m not so clever – or so heartless – that I could extract you mentally from my life, without coming to a mental block, a dark place that has no definition and doesn’t require one. If i put ‘without you’ into my life’s equation right now, my systems would crash!”

Ok, that was extremely soppy, but I think you get the message. And YES it works both ways too, in case any of you thought I was chauvinist. We can get so comfortable with family, friends, work environments, items of furniture, even TV programmes…to the extent that removing them is never a conscious option in our minds, and even if we tried, we’d hit that mental brick wall! Ten times out of ten! In some cases, it’s necessary to remove that entity, yet the brick wall stops us, refusing to let us see what the chances are that life could actually just…..go on. In some cases, you can’t stop the event from happening. People die. Economies change. Presidents come and go…well at least most of them. STUFF HAPPENS! Your control of life beyond yourself is at a permanent low. There will always be a loved one that passes on, or a friend that becomes distant, or a test you don’t score well in, or a job you’ll lose, or a series that’s cancelled (Heroes). Whether its one, a combination of, or all of these things, something will happen to you that disrupts your comfort. And it will be so hard because for better or for worse, because you can’t imagine life beyond what you’re comfortable with! You can maybe paint a picture, but you won’t easily recreate the experience in your mind. The brick wall is strong, it’s been there for millennia, causing anomalies of some kind in every life and every place.

People in abusive situations will stay after a while, because somewhere along the line, they could no longer imagine a life without abuse. The wall was put up, brick by brick, and so they settle in to a life of abuse, saying to it “I can’t imagine life without you!” Successful people become even more successful as they continue their lives, because a wall was built against failure. They look at success and say “I can’t imagine life without you!” Mediocre minds stay exactly where they are because they have become immune to the desires of success, or the depths  of failure. They are stuck in the middle, and they say to that existence, “I can’t imagine life without you!”

In fact, you’d be shocked at what your mind has settled with. Style of clothing, types of entertainment, genres of books (or none at all), colours, climates, sounds…..the list is endless. Your life has built its own mansion full of the people and things you’ve settled with! If just one item is missing, no matter how insignificant, life is just not the same anymore. Losing anything destroys your carefully crafted balance. That balance is what you and I know more commonly as our comfort zones. More on that in another blog. What I’m showing you is that with all these ‘comforts’, letting go of something is inevitable. Sometimes it’s good to let go where it is destructive, sometimes it’s bad for you where it’s helping…but all times, it’s hard! Literally you are letting go of a part of yourself, because you put that thing into your ‘mansion’, you decided which room it would sit in and who could see it. What’s worse, is you built that brick wall that protected it so well!

Letting go of someone you love, or of something you’ve created, will be one of the hardest things you’ll ever experience. Not only is there a brick wall, there’s the investment lost. This investment is everything (money, emotions, time, imagination…etc) you’ve put into the relationship or venture. It’s hard to let go because you also have to let go of all you put in. Time is a tough investment to let go of. Years can literally disappear before your eyes. Hope is an investment, that allows you to build expectations for something to happen a certain way. Letting go of all the plans you had, is also intensely hard, because those plans are what you chose, despite all the options you had. It’s hard to let go because it sometimes leaves you wondering “what was the point? All that time… All those emotions… All those plans… What was the point?”

An investment lost of any kind can lead to a type of regret, even if the circumstances surrounding the loss were impossible to avoid or predict. It’s easy to feel as though you would have been better off without putting in the investment. Let me give you a quote I once read:

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

Whatever comes to an end in your life, be grateful you had the experience. It’s easy to hold on. You don’t need anyone to teach you that. You breathe everyday of your life simply because your very biology is holding on to life. Holding on is almost reflex when you think about it. Even long after something’s over, we hold on by looking back to the past. There’s a way of doing this that appreciates the experience for what it taught you, or even to help others, but for the most part, we do this in the negative way. The way that makes us long for that place again. The latter method is unhealthy, and keep you stuck in the past. Here’s another interesting quote I read about this:

“One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us. – Michael Cibenko

Wow! The future could run out on us? This shows me that if we don’t let go, the investment continues, we put time, emotions, and hopes into something that’s already gone! How stupid must THAT look from a spectator’s point of view? The thing about putting time into something, is that you can never get that time back! It’s NEVER coming back! All that time thinking, wishing, living like you’re unlucky, staying in depression…IT’S NEVER COMING BACK! You’re putting your money into a fake bank account, all that’s gonna happen is you’ll discover you’ve been cheated! Can I tell you something else? You’re the one that set up that bank account (Ouch! This is painful..!!).

Your experiences, once they have past, have only a few good uses…all of which revolve around educating you. If used wisely, being able to let go, and see the value in the lessons learnt more than the pain felt, you could become an immensely wise and insightful individual. Letting go allows you to redecorate your inner mansion, breathe new life into you, and bring back that sense of possibility and wonder.

You owe it to your future to let go!

By accepting a person or a dream into your heart, you made a choice that this was it. You settled, and left possibility outside. This is fine because we make choices. But when you lose something important to you, don’t be foolish and leave possibility outside still! Get out there and discover what your heart truly desires again. You might even need to build an entirely new mansion! That’s an exciting adventure, just waiting for you….

…waiting for you, to let go.

Over.

Alone in the Dark (Part 1)

Posted: March 5, 2011 in Dark Corners
Tags: ,

As I start this, there’s a really distinct feeling that comes over The Maze. Depression is far too familiar. As I traverse the halls of my own Maze, I have seen many dark corridors, and hit many dead ends. The worst ones are those that leave you feeling like there’s no way out. After trying so many times, you see this wall in front of you, but there’s no longer any reflex to turn around and find another way. There’s no feeling that “things will get better”… No thoughts of “what if I go back and turn left this time?”..
Nope!! All you feel is: this is it!

Having seen this on more the one occasion, The Maze can be sure of one thing: it will take something special to get out because the momentum for movement is lost, the desire to discover is spent, and most of all, depression is setting in. All you see around you is hopeless. It’s in this place – no – it’s in this state that many find themselves in when they take a wrong turn, or when life presents some confusing paths for us to follow…and with nobody to show us the best way (which is usually the case unless you know everything…in which case you get it all right…which means your life must be boring!), mistakes are inevitable. Those mistakes may be the way we respond to a hard situation, or the emotionally charged (but rationally deficient) decisions we make about what the situation means for us. They could also be the people we choose to relate with during specifically sensitive seasons, people who only facilitate more pain, who enable the darkness around you, opening the doors for it to enter you even more. Whatever the case, whoever the people, for whatever the reason, when you are in the dark, you are alone! You don’t see or hear anything else, because there is nothing else. No love, no hope, not even anxiety, not even fear. Maybe initially, but the dark wants to leave you numb, and its ultimate goal to leave you STUCK!

Ever play that game “stuck in the mud”? Almost a twisted “tag”game. Once you were ‘stuck’, you needed someone else to come free you. Simple premise, yet a vastly broad principle. When you find yourself alone in the dark, you’re gonna need some help. The quicker the better. First of all though, you need to learn how to call for help, and this is hampered by ‘dark tendencies’: acting like everything is fine! The darkness is wherever you are, the ‘mud’ has you planted in one spot, stuck in ‘repeat’ mode…replaying the same actions to everyone over and over again to seem normal, and replaying the same thoughts over and over again that are closing them up. “I failed…I can’t do this anymore…What was I thinking?… There’s nothing left for me in this life…I’m nobody…they don’t really see me, only the shell I’ve become!” And so the loop will play incessantly, because in the mud, you’re limited… In the dark, there’s only so much you can do ‘safely’. You’re in ‘minimum risk’ mode.

Well, one of the biggest reasons is fear, on many levels. There is the obvious fear of rejection. Basically a fear that whomever you’re seeking assistance from, will let you down. This is understandable because you never really know how somebody might respond to your issue. This is compounded as your silence continues, because it is harder to be sure of a positive response the longer you are quiet about it!

There is also a deeper level to this initial fear, one that I believe is more of a self-defense mechanism. The fear that help could make things worse! I know you’ve wondered about that, “what if I’m betrayed..what if they make it harder for me…what if they leave me mid-process, that would really make me a hard person”. Basically this level deals with your ability to trust others. This is a specifically tough one, because you already know you need someone to help you out, a voice that can help you feel your way out of your dead-end, but your silence, your performance of life as usual is screaming one thing: YOU CAN’T TRUST ANYONE ENOUGH!

Great way to end a blog right? Wrong? Well, I’m ending it here. This was the wind-up to the good stuff…

We’re gonna talk about trust! Go on to Part 2 of this post, and find out what I think of this ‘thing’ everyone struggles with (actually it’s probably just you).

See you in Part 2!!