Archive for the ‘Dark Corners’ Category

It places itself upon the grass of every dawning day
Becoming a trap to light and an entity of delight
For observers who’s eyes adjust to it criminal performance
That stole the show from the sun.

Each time it seems to dance with rays of refracted energy
Like a diamond carved not cut for the specific purpose
Of travelling from raw materials to finished majesty
Before the eyes of those undone.

The tears of the morning are there every dawning with each day
Weeping over yesterday’s passing on into the memories
Of history and mythology accepting the previous into their
Eternal place of timelessness

The grass is heavy with each drop bearing its own glory
And agony simultaneously jostling for the spotlight of those
Who can observe the dazzling display of creation boasting its ability
To be present and allow its present to digress.

For wonder and honour do the petals carry their share of dew
Due to each day and each of nature’s outdoor family,
They must not allow even one drop to fall but only to
Evaporate in the course of the day.

As it is with any tear that is left to itself to live and die
Just like those whose death gave it purpose to exist on the
Cheek of any who have cried in the loss of life close by
And love that has been delayed.

“Who shed these tears?” the tall trees ask as they watch the ground
Underneath and surrounding them, that has been littered with
Dazzling treasures existing through the mere process of time passing…
Yes, Yesterday’s passing.

“Whose eyes released these?” enquired the birds in the branches,
Alive enough to move and be excused from the chore of holding up these
Gems in perfect stillness lest one should fall and be forgotten
By Time itself fleeting.

I looked at the dew of the morning and asked the same as the trees and birds,
Wondering what pain was felt to produce such expensive scenery
For such temporary showing screening before those who were still enough
To care for such a vista.

Is yesterday so alive that it must be mourned by each morning?
Should the tears of Time be found on the petals of beauty and growth?
Such filled my mind for I had my own purpose to impose upon the phenomena
Of nature’s process under the fading stars.

My own could not be shed for I could not be still enough to let them
Fall from my eyes and be carried by the petals of my cheeks to be evaporated
By the release of sadness into the air of continuing life
And opportunity as flexible and grounded as grass.

Every morning due comes with mourning dew,

For my own mourning due did not come to pass.


Progress: Door handles. Goal: Keyhole! "I'm sure if I stepped on the ledge I'd get there, but somehow I still want to reach it myself!"

It’s been quite a year for some of us. That could be good or bad depending on what’s happened. Yet I’m sure pretty much all of us have experienced some sort of rejection in a way. Not just rejection out of nowhere, but rejection where you put time and effort into being accepted. This would cover things like applications of any kind (job, school, programs..etc), or relationships (whether family, friends or significant other). It could even be as hard as a Dream you worked on, and it keeps failing you. Whichever the case, closed doors are something we encounter and aren’t always ready for. (more…)

Last night was a pretty amazing night for me. In fact, the entire day was. From last night all through to now, I’d written 4 posts (I average 5 a month, and this will be #5!); I took a plunge and offered my writing ability to another blog (and now I have my first post on there already! Click here to see it.); and then this evening, we had prayer and that was just so… Real!

We were going with the “11/11/11” thing and it was cool and all. There I was being really silly and saying to myself “are we really just gonna say chapter 11 verse 11 for all our references tonight? Seriously?”, and that’s exactly what happened! Hahahaha!! It should’ve been corny and typical, as stuff like that usually is to me. It was just too obvious to do that… But I got something I was not expecting. (more…)

At the time of writing, I’d heard of Steve Jobs‘ death just a two hours ago. It was tragic news and left me shocked and deep in thought. This man was easily in the top 10 most influential people of the last decade, bringing us technology that was married with beauty. We’ve ALL heard of iPods and iPads, probably had an encounter with an iTunes music library, dreamed of owning a Macbook Pro (ok that’s probably more me than anyone), and had come across that famous Apple logo more than we may realise. We will keep having such experiences for some time to come, and yet Steve Jobs, is gone. (more…)

In The Timid Nation!

Posted: September 22, 2011 in Dark Corners, Poetic Paths
Tags: ,

Thoughts blaze a path of fire in the heart
Bringing sense and sensibility to a world contained
In one brain with two eyes and an idea of safety
In the known and the barriers it presents.
Within the walls a familiar relative to peace and tranquil
Imagery that has borne the burden of being called reality.
Synergy in unity of faculties who agree the thought should be deemed
Confidence. (more…)

We used to live here together
Your eyes were my vision
My heart was your understanding
Static amity, common territory, shared silence
In a union fuelled by integrity intense
Your inner world was locked with my key
And mine yours. (more…)

At some point in my life, I noticed a few traits within me that I never really liked seeing from anyone else, yet they were alive and well in my own mind. I saw how I sometimes treated people and would later say to myself, “Why did I do that?” with much confusion in my heart. I would be insulting, degrading, and extremely harsh in my remarks to some people; not being able to handle incompetency, or lack of understanding. Now, I must say that I’m already a pretty blunt person (as some of my posts may portray), and I believe in ‘saying it like it is’.  Of course, that was my excuse.

Unfortunately, doing what I did was not the final nail in the coffin of my realisation.  What really got me thinking was how other people responded to the way I was.  I noticed a few traits within them as well.  On the one hand, they did what I asked them to do; completing tasks, or learning a skill I required (demanded) of them. Yet on the other hand, they resisted me in most forms of relationship outside the tasks at hand. They were afraid of me. It is then that I reached the conclusion that even though the work was getting done, it wasn’t out of people being productive, it was because I made them do it! They weren’t inspired, innovative, energetic, or even happy… They were just jumping because they had to…or else! Their incentive was not progress, it was survival. They weren’t trying to please me, they were trying to appease me.

What was happening here? I wasn’t a leader… I was a manipulator. I thought I was in control, and I was right; just not in control of me. I controlled everybody else with my temper. And so it is with all ‘manipulators’. They become gods demanding sacrifices at their altars ‘or else’. That ‘or else’ can be different for everyone, but in my case, it was “or else I’ll tell you how terrible your performance was…and you know i do that well…because I tell it like it is!” Who wouldn’t want to avoid that?

Truth of the matter is, I probably got it from somewhere. We all did. Wasn’t it our mom who said “clean up your room or else…”? I’m sure you were in the room with me when dad told us to pass our tests with flying colours, or else he’d lock up all our toys. All of these seemingly minor occurrences were the seed-bed of habits and thought patterns that would probably change the way we acted, especially when we were exposed to the extreme forms of them. Parents or siblings that showed capacity to abuse us, got us into “abuse avoidance mode”. That abuse could have been verbal, physical, or emotional; but when we knew it was coming, we did everything to avoid it…including doing well! Or else dad got angry (and we always knew what that meant), or mom would be sad and cry and complain about how we don’t appreciate her. It was all a form of manipulation, disguised as parenting!

A manipulator puts a person/people in a place where they are no longer doing something out of their free will, but out of fear. Not only that, a manipulator messes with your whole concept of incentives. Your rewards aren’t personally motivated anymore, because when you’re under a manipulator, survival is success! Manipulators think people love them, truth is, people are scared of them! They are masters of deception, because they get you to think you’re motivated, but actually you’re anxious! What they do is very similar to some torture techniques (OUCH!), where all they offer is relief (from the negative emotion they’re inflicting), as an incentive for co-operation. Yes they can reward in better ways, but they make sure their best form of motivation is your escape negative emotion.

They make brilliant leaders!
They’re usually go-getters (slave-drivers)…
Motivated (highly strung)…
Focused on the vision (abusive if you aren’t)…
Produce excellent results (get what they want)…
Goal-oriented (resulting in loveless conduct)…
And are usually very clear on what they want (or else!!!).

It's YOUR fault this is poorly done! Why can't YOU get it right? What's wrong with YOU?!

If you manipulate like this, I bet people talk behind your back about your flaws more than they confront you… I bet you keep discovering that people are scared of you… I bet you defend yourself when someone highlights your mean tendencies… I bet you would’ve used “accuses you of” instead of “highlights” in the previous statement… I bet you have fewer friends than you’d like… I bet you’ve justified it with how well you’re doing… I bet your successes still don’t cover how you actually want to be more approachable… But I bet you keep sabotaging/undermining that desire with your bad temper!

Those are just the aggressive manipulators! These are the ones that lash out at people, usually a boss (because they are bossy!). People run from them in fear of their random volcanic eruptions…which leave these dark clouds of ash over everybody. You probably work for one, cos with them all you worry about is “I hope I don’t make them angry…” because that’s what they say all the time. They love lines like “I’m getting angry… I’m very disappointed… I don’t understand how you could do this…” I’m sure some of you know a few of those, and none of them is you. You may be right, but there’s another version of the manipulator: Passive.

The passive manipulators are just as bad as the aggressive ones. Same M.O. They put you in a position where their emotions become your master. But they are soooooo clever about it.

Ever meet a person who just seems sad all the time, or has many bouts of depression? Ok maybe you know a lot of people like that, but ask this question: Ever find that you can’t say anything negative to them? Or you have to be really careful about how you confront them? Or have you found yourself almost having to compliment them much more than anyone else? When they’re around you, you feel this need to cheer them up, or make them feel part of the group? Know anybody like that? If you do, then you know a passive manipulator!

The trick is the same, but the expression is different. These manipulators leverage the opposite range of emotions to aggressive manipulators. They’re already low, but make you feel responsible for it! Passive manipulators don’t have the ‘fear factor’ like aggressive ones, but they are quite fearsome in their technique. All the questions I asked two paragraphs ago, are ways of finding out whether someone is passively manipulating you, or if you are a passive manipulator. Usually the goal for someone like this is attention. They want to be seen, or heard, or taken care of, or have things done for them. Encountering someone like this over time, you’ll hear more about their struggles than their victories, and you’ll find yourself trying to cheer them up all the time.

With the aggressive, you fear the blow-up; with the passive, you fear the break-down. Whichever side it is, it’s wrong.

I read an article in Psychology Today that really helped me see this in myself and others. The wording used to describe this manipulation was this:

People who can’t control themselves, control the people around them. When you rely on someone for a positive reflected sense of self, you invariably try to control him/her.” – David Schnark

When your feelings, anxieties, and insecurities are always out of control, they probably control your relationships. You teach people to put up with you all the time. You have to be right in the argument to assert yourself/Wrong in the argument to justify your lack of self-esteem! It’s not fair to the people around you, and it undermines you completely. Manipulation is scary, but so common, because it is common for us to have little control over our emotions, or their manifestations in our character.

Manipulators (speaking to myself as well), you must learn to control yourself! Self-control is a priceless gift to all those around you. Nobody said you can’t be angry, just don’t manipulate people with it. It is YOUR JOB to sort through your emotions…nobody else’s. So refrain from putting that responsibility on others. Stop telling yourself that “they make me angry!” That is the biggest declaration of dependency you could make. You’re not really in charge in that state, your emotions are…and that’s not the best for you or anybody else.

What we need is to decide that our emotions won’t get the best of us, and those around us. It’s not something that changes overnight, but it changes! Really that’s all you need to know… That if you embark on a journey of self-control, you WILL change for the better. Nothing is stopping you, well, nothing except your habit of submission to these habits. You’ve taught yourself to be a slave to your emotions, and now everybody else is! It’s what we grew up seeing, and believing was the best way to do relationship. The only reason it ‘worked’ in those we saw doing it, is probably because you were manipulated into thinking that!

Manipulation starts to end when you think of others more than yourself… When you realise that your style or personality can actually learn new tricks like listening before blowing up, or not blowing up at all… When you learn to speak encouraging words to yourself, and allowing others to affirm something already within you: self-belief. Let people be themselves around you, and where they falter, teach them how to be the best they can be…not how to meet deadlines!

i-Manipulate… when i have no control of myself.


Your shoulders are strained. Your steps drag. Your pace deteriorates. Your breathing…………..laboured. Sweat is pouring down your face profusely, stinging your squinted eyes. Each breath burns in your chest, filling you with fire that tries to consume you. Your slow and delayed steps, are ironically the fastest way to becoming something you don’t want to be! Yet you continue…

Ever felt like this? You’re probably holding on to something you shouldn’t be. Maybe its a pointless relationship, or a negative habit… Whatever it is, it’s what we call “Dead Weight”. The fact that it’s a ‘weight’ isn’t the issue. We carry stuff in our minds all the time, and some of it is tough, some of it is pleasant…either way, its something we carry. Everything we carry ‘weighs’ on us in one way or another.

No, weight isn’t the problem here. A lack of Life is!

The problem is that what you’re carrying is Dead! Meaning it has gone past the point of meaning and use in your life. When you’re carrying Dead Weight, you’re literally working hard to waste your time! Yes I just said that. You’re putting effort in something that won’t bear any fruit… Ever.

It actually goes against Nature to carry something dead and still have any purpose to it. A pregnant woman carries a living organism in her called a baby, that has the potential to live and eventually reproduce. Fruit carries seed within it, with the potential for more life. Even dogs walk around with fleas that are alive!

Yet when something dies, it needs too be released or expelled. That’s just Nature’s course. Why? Because as long the Dead Weight stays, nothing NEW can grow in its place. Life cannot reproduce where there’s death. Dead leaves fall away, rotten fruit drops off the branch, dead animals are consumed by vultures and maggots. Even dead fleas can’t stay on the dog!

Bring on the living fleas!

Dead Weight has no potential for future life. Only future death. So if its introduced into your decision-making for the tomorrow, it can only perpetuate more death. It’s NEVER good for you to make decisions this way. You think you’re putting a nice fence to protect your heart, but what you’ve actually is hire the Agents from The Matrix, and the entire world of high-tech security; thrown in a giant wall that’s made of titanium that is higher than most skyscrapers, and an electricity field as your roof.
Sure, nothing and nobody will get in, but neither will YOU GET OUT! You’re stuck in your own bondage…oops, meant to say boundary.

It could be the memory of a heartbreak, the words of a parent, the fears of your childhood, the fears of adulthood, or even a past failure… It’s all Dead Weight, and it was meant to be let go of! Nature does it, so stop trying to be clever… Let it fall away..

Stop calling it back from the dead! Have you ever seen a woman walk around with a dead baby on her back, acting like its alive? I bet you haven’t. And if you have I bet it will be an image you won’t forget. When someone dies, you bury them.

Bury your Dead Weight.

Let it Rest In Peace!


Really? Is the title is true? Yes it is! The Maze knows it very well. You probably do as well. The loss of any desires for the future, will kill off the flame of your heart and keep you on pause, or even rewind! The truth is that our hopes actually do a lot to shape and structure our worlds. Their effect on invisible things like health, joy and peace of mind is so real that we can’t ignore the power of having Hope.

Hope is what we look forward to in our lives. We “hope to have a degree”, or “hope to be married with children”. It’s the image we aim for, and work towards. Sometimes, Hope is not something we actively plot out, but is just a picture we hold on to, giving us light on a dark day, helping you overcome hard times by painting a picture that is still a possibility beyond whatever pain you experience. When we embark on anything, having Hope keeps us engaged and active with life. In other words, it’s a great motivator for whatever it is you’re doing.

Living in this earth requires us to have Hope, because each day could be a brush-stroke in your life’s painting and you want to be sure that there is still something beyond the immediate that helps paint the picture more clearly. Should failure happen, or some unforseen event, Hope keeps you centered and…for lack of a better word…Hopeful!

Hopelessness is different from Depression. They may seem similar, but there is a definite difference. Depression refers to the feelings of sadness, loss, anger or frustration that become so intense they interfere with your daily activity over a period of time. Hopelessness, however, is tied to having no expectation of success of good in your life. When used to describe situations, they are believed to be incapable of solution or management. Some people actually live this way, being rendered immune to remedies or cures due to their Hopelessness.

A study was done on  “Hopelessness and its Effect on Cardiac Rehabilitation Exercise Participation Following Hospitalization for Acute Coronary Syndrome“, and the results were that patients who experienced Hopelessness were less likely to continue with their rehabilitation. It’s also very interesting to see how Depression affected someone’s committment to the program. Predictions would say that Depression decreases participation, but amazingly, Depression actually increased participation.

What does that mean? Well, it’s just a study done in one setting, yet it shows something very important. To lose Hope has much farther reaching effects on a person than to lose their happiness or joy. That’s because Hope connects you to the future, and the future gives purpose to today. If you lose your connection to tomorrow, then there’s no point in growing, there’s no point in learning, or understanding, there’s no point in reaching, there’s no point in the entire present tense!! Think about that for a second.

You lose Hope, you lose your sense of living! It’s simple and yet intensely hard-hitting! Hope is the ingredient thrown into your tragedies that has a ‘bounce-back’ effect… It can turn any sad story into super-story… It gives you strength to endure the pain of growing because there’s a reason for it all. It connects today to tomorrow. It can validate experiences that otherwise would be pointless and worth forgetting. To lose that Hope, that painting, that vision, that wish, that dream, would be to kill off your life-support!

Every breath you take leads you to the next one, every day, ends to make way for the next one. Life itself is one big canvas of Hope. Once that realisation is lost, you enter a downward spiral of denying life’s natural Hope-giving power. You have to ignore the processes taking place around you that are ushering you forward, and eventually you will convince yourself that there is no tomorrow. That can only take you to one place.

You can figure where that place is for yourself… Read the title!


So let’s deal with trust, because its pivotal to your life actually. I’ve heard that “trust is earned”, you must “work to be trusted”. These phrases  are interesting for one reason: They put the entire responsibility of building trust on one person, the other guy! Where are YOU in all this talk of trust? Aren’t you the one who does the trusting? Yes of course the other person plays a part in completing the equation, but it starts with you, and the resultant answer to that equation is in you! So, I propose a new statement for this thing we call trust.

Trust is an opportunity you give to another person. It’s the empowering of an individual to take part in your life.

It’s not something that starts outside of you, people are different in different in different situations. So you must provide the situation! You must be the one to let them enter that space in your life. Often when we give access to people without realising it, that’s when we’re hurt the most. With this method though, you are fully aware of what’s happening, it’s taken place with your conscious consent. You’re refusing to be stuck alone in the dark, and not waiting for a stranger, or some anomalous relationship that pops out of nowhere with a big bang, sweeping your heart up in rapturous emotions only to be let down gently….no….thrown down hard! Your heart is YOUR responsibility! Nobody else’s. Should someone be doing anything there, it should be because YOU wanted them there, not because they ‘worked’ their way in. You let them in THEN they work!

Revolutionary right? Well here’s the next part I’m going to throw at you.

You are the ONLY way someone will learn how to be trusted by you, so you must teach a person how to be trusted by you.

This is the same in any kind of relationship. It’s to your advantage that this person(s) learns what standards you accept. You must be have a PhD in your own heart! Many people fail at friendships or relationships, not because they were misunderstood, but because they were terrible at communicating themselves. It’s easy to blame the next person, but the next person is sometimes following the script you feed them! Hard truths, but you need to know this, or else you will be ALONE FOREVER! You might be surrounded by people, you may even get married, but you’ll always know there’s a part of you that’s unknown by the rest of the world (because you never showed them…but you’ll never admit that. It’s all their fault…right?).

Therefore, ‘alone’ is a mental state more than a physical one. That’s why you can still feel isolated in a crowd. It’s that blindness to the rest of the world, the dead end right in front of you, and all around you, the failure to see any correlation between your current surroundings (physically and emotionally), and your desired path/destination.

As you grant a friend or loved one that opportunity, understand there’s room for mistakes. I doubt you’ve ever treated anyone perfectly. What should liberate you is this: you are there to help them help you!

Your fear of being hurt, or led astray, is somewhat realistic, because all of that is possible… But think of this: how much better are your chances if the person helping you had expert knowledge of the way your heart works and what it needs to move forward? You are that expert. Teach them!

You will invariably come to dark places in your life, but it could be an opportunity for you to realise that you don’t have to be alone for long. The darkness can be navigated – with help!

No dead end is permanent. Unless you allow it to be. Someone’s willing to catch you when you’re falling. If you’re fortunate, there’ll be many to make sure you don’t hit rock bottom.

Become an expert on YOU, and you will be able to train up your help, for those times you can’t help yourself.

Remember “stuck in the mud”? You have to help your friends get to you. They want you free so that the game can continue. If you stay stuck, your friends and family also lose! Whatever led you to the dark corners, may have been hard, or even absolutely destructive, but your life is still here on this Earth, you deserve to move on, not by virtue of morality or feeling, but by virtue of being ALIVE!