In an earlier blog, I talked about how it was important for us to be able to communicate ourselves better to others. Most relationships (friends, family, work, marriage…etc) fail because of misunderstandings, or failures in understanding. I went further to hazard my belief that if we knew how to communicate ourselves better, we’d be a lot further in terms of relational maturity.

I want to take that concept further in this post. It is entirely possible that we fail to speak our hearts effectively, because we don’t even know ourselves that well. People have had this idea for a long time that communication is just from you to another person/people. This post presents the idea that there’s a level of communication that should take place even before you talk to others: It’s communication with YOURSELF!

Before you leave the page, laughing out loud to yourself (if you aren’t already), just think about this. You have a lot more going on in your mind than you think. At times, even multiple trains of thought running simultaneously. Ever had a time when you’re trying to think, but you couldn’t concentrate on anything? If yes, you experienced a pretty serious traffic jam. There are so many ideas and even beliefs moving inside your brain, and it takes a great deal of self-awareness to be able to isolate and deal with them.

What you believe you are, is only above the water!

I’m of the belief  that your mind runs on many levels of consciousness, it’s not just a simple one-track definition of “you”. There are many sides and expressions that come together to form the person you know as “You”. You have many levels of depth that you’re probably not aware of. Psychologists talk about ‘Ego’, and ‘Self’ as a way of bringing across this idea of your mind operating at different levels. Now, I don’t adhere to the absolute definitions, but I do agree with the notion that there is more than one ‘part’ in your mind. For the sake of consistency, I’ll call them ‘consciousness’. Your different consciousnesses appear and recede at different times to deal with your life. They make decisions, give direction, add a sense of purpose, or even hopelessness. They can speak to you about where your life is, or where it isn’t.

Having these multiple consciousnesses, there must also be an order that comes into play. There should be a way of putting them “in their place”, so to speak. I have observed many people move through life feeling misunderstood. I believe very firmly that how much you’re understood rests mainly on how well you communicate yourself. This level of communication (beyond yourself) is also affected by the level at which you are, firstly, aware of your consciousnesses, and secondly how much communication there is between those consciousnesses (inter-conscious communication – ‘ICC’ from now on). When your ICC is low, you will fail to capture what is taking place within you, and therefore experience emotions you cannot pin down, and even further, you will not be able to describe them to anyone else satisfactorily. Ever been asked what’s wrong, only to respond with “I don’t know”? That right there is a result of low ICC

It is important to note at this point, that not all these ‘sides’ of you are aiming for your benefit. For the most part, they will give you a true representation of yourself, but the agendas from there are diverse. Some parts of you may be trying to hold on to the pain you have experienced in the past, simply because that’s what you know. Others may be trying to simply make you more aware of yourself, and what your surroundings do to you. Sometimes the feeling that you have no purpose is a signal that you have to do some defining in your life before you go too far.

In a very simple way, imagine you have four versions of ‘you’ in your mind. The first is Happy, the second is Sad, the third is Loud, and the last is Thinking.

"Ok guys, let's talk about this...."

They all live in the house of your mind. When they live in harmony, you experience clarity of thought and understanding of your life. Things just “make sense”. They all have a way of expressing themselves according to their characteristics, and they do this when the situation allows it. You’d think there would be nothing wrong if the happy one took control of the house right? Who doesn’t want to be happy? However, the happy one starts off well, but eventually becomes a little too happy. Your happy side won’t scrutinize much, and will just accept everything that happens. Your happy side will sometimes ignore things that need to be dealt with. It will experience hurt, but quickly decide to ‘move on’ without closing the door properly…leaving your Sad side to be exposed more than it should. This is what we call “baggage”, pain that hasn’t been dealt with. And because Sad isn’t being heard, he gets frustrated and eventually lashes out on the house! Now in your reality, this lashing out would cause real sadness, or even depression, and because you were living oblivious to what was taking place in one of your consciousnesses, there’s a sudden and unexpected change.

In such cases, it is important to allow yourself to experience your emotions and let them run their course. The sudden drops in energy, or joy, are usually a direct result of a low ICC, and it’s your mind’s way of protecting itself saying “we are not going anywhere till we deal with this thing!” and you must really do some ‘soul-listening’ for hints of what went wrong.

I don't know what is going on!!

For example, it surprises me how many people have come to me with this statement: “I don’t know what my purpose is”! Ok, it’s a common thought, yet what surprises me is that by the time they come to me, they’ve made major decisions for their lives. They have chosen careers, some are married, they’ve done degrees up to masters, they’ve signed contracts that bind them to a certain activity for the next 3 – 10 years! “How on earth did you do all that without knowing your reason for being??” is usually my internal response. But it’s what we do isn’t it? We just go with what works at the time, sometimes catch the next bus without necessarily asking where it’s going…just as long as there is movement in our lives. HOWEVER, there exists a part in our minds that wants and craves clear answers to the questions of purpose and destiny; ignoring it will only result in moments of it “lashing out on the rest of the house”, and leaving us feeling like there’s a big gap in our hearts, and that all we’ve done (however good it is) is pointless!

I’ve seen people come to this point with their degrees, their jobs, and even their marriages. Some people handle it well, and make the necessary changes withinthemselves first, then deal with their external circumstances. You need to have a good ICC for results to happen in your own mind, before you make any major decisions.

Many try to change their activity, and yet it was their IDENTITY that needed to change! It was the way they communicated within themselves that needed to change, before they changed their actions and behavior. Sometimes, the Loud one in your mind needs to speak up about what they feel to the people around you…just as an example.

Your consciousnesses all come with a level of intelligence and percept

"So, who are you? I hear you're me.. How does THAT work?"

ion. Knowing how to maximize on them will make you a force to be reckoned with. There is power in knowledge, and knowledge of your inner-workings will grant you a stability that cannot be shaken. This is not to say your emotions will always be on an even keel, rather, you’d know from where your expressed emotions originate, and what they are communicating to you. Having this knowledge, will make you a far  better communicator of who you are to other people. You’ll understand that if there’s a general misunderstanding about who you are, it’s probably because you’re either projecting an incomplete message about yourself, or you haven’t reached the full expression of yourself!

Keeping a low Inter-Conscious Communication, will cause your mind to withdraw its full potential from you, as a way of preserving the integrity of your power. Improving on your ICC, will bring an understanding of your inner-being and what they are capable of, you will begin to experience that ‘freedom’ of expressing yourself in various ways without fear.

As a short testimonial: This entire blog was born out of overcoming a barrier I had placed in myself; a fear that expressing these thought would be “dangerous” in the circles I kept. However, as my ICC grew, I realised this was truly a part of me, and the agenda wasn’t one of a negative foundation, but a true wish to see others experience a  real freedom to be themselves. Some people might get “weird” with this kind of thinking, but if anything, this made me more resolute about my choices to believe in something greater and bigger than myself!

I urge you to spend some time listening to yourself, and yes to even talk  to yourself. you’d be surprised what you hear, and even more surprised at what you might SAY!


  1. Taxan says:


    • The Maze says:

      Hello Taxan..
      I’ll be sure to look up your suggestion. Though I wonder how possible it is to go ‘beyond mortal thought’ when we are mortal. However we are still very undefined in what our ‘mortality’ means in terms of the power our minds possess.. Our search for purpose and meaning has unlocked many previously unknown or unclear concepts concerning who we really are.

      Many doors remain to be opened..! Many paths to be travelled.. I hope your journey leads to Understanding, more than just knowledge..!

  2. Taxan says:

    Tantra means technique,the book is not knowledge based,it gives techniques on how to reach your spiritual self,how to enter the state of pure bliss.And by mortal thought i mean the human mind.Its Age old knowledge, i for 1 believe nothing is new under the sun, all the things we are discovering now were there centuries ago, the ancients knew the power of the mind waaay better.

    • The Maze says:

      Ah, then we have same idea. It makes sense that as the world progressed, man became more distracted by things outside of himself… Therefore losing that connection within himself.. And is now slowly starting to regain that connection..

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