Archive for May, 2011

In an earlier blog, I talked about how it was important for us to be able to communicate ourselves better to others. Most relationships (friends, family, work, marriage…etc) fail because of misunderstandings, or failures in understanding. I went further to hazard my belief that if we knew how to communicate ourselves better, we’d be a lot further in terms of relational maturity.

I want to take that concept further in this post. It is entirely possible that we fail to speak our hearts effectively, because we don’t even know ourselves that well. People have had this idea for a long time that communication is just from you to another person/people. This post presents the idea that there’s a level of communication that should take place even before you talk to others: It’s communication with YOURSELF! (more…)

Popular Train of Thought

It is interesting to note what people would define ‘life’ as. We even have phrases like “Life happens”, “That’s life”, or the popular “Lessons of life”. It seems that most times, life is what happens around us, or what happens to us. Events take place and are placed in the category of ‘life’; parents treat us a certain way, and that’s ‘life’; the place we grew up in is a segment of ‘life’.

Often I wonder when and why we determined that ‘life’ was everything that happened outside of us. I don’t dispute that our experiences are ingrained within our minds and for the most part motivate our actions. However it just seems a little off that we define this thing called ‘life’ through things that may influence us, but are not us. Think of it this way: a man named Fred has a car accident, a terrible one. He develops a fear of driving because he might be in another accident, so he decides to take public transport and taxis. When people asked him why he doesn’t drive anymore, he says “Because I of the accident, I didn’t want that possibility again. It’s safer this way.” (This is actually a true story for a few people I know)
Something clearly happened to him, that happens a lot around us, and from that event, he chose a way of living that he believed was a good enough response.

Now, every time you ask Fred, you’ll hear about the accident, and how terrible it was. Most times you ask people how they ended up in the place they are in, they’ll tell you about what happened to them growing up, or with a friend, you’ll hear about their “accidents”. The events have shaped their lives, and indeed this is true for many of us. However, I’m of the mind that life is not what happens around us or to us… Life IS US!!!

Life is what takes place within  you as you face what happens to you. Life is the decision you make when you hear a certain phrase, or go through a traumatic period. Life is you saying “I will never…” or “I will always…”! Life is your heart’s response to the environment around you. The feelings you have, the thoughts, the inner scripts that play in your mind when you go about your day, these form life. The events are just influencers of life, they are not the entirety of life.

When life becomes about the events, you’ll notice that you take less responsibility for your response.  If you asked Fred why he never drove himself, he’d tell you about the accident, and elaborate on how bad it was…but you’d never hear him talk about the Fear he had and that he couldn’t deal with it. The accident was an influencer, but Fear was his response, and the decision to take public transport was based on the Fear, not the accident. I hope you see what I’m saying. Life is the internal activity that responds to external elements.

Now, if these external elements are just influencers, then they can also damage us. I’ve read many times how the body has this natural ability to heal itself; that it basically does almost all the work of restoring itself after injury. 
When you break a bone and put on a cast, the  cast just keeps the bones in place so that the  body can do what it’s supposed to do. Some medications do the same, by promoting the body’s natural reflex to a disease or instability. I bring this up, because I wonder: if the body can heal itself (albeit sometimes with help), then can the human heart/mind do the same thing? Stuff is happening to us all the time, and some of it brings us to the conclusion that something’s terribly wrong with life, and therefore ourselves.

If our bodies come hard-wired with this ability to restore themselves, do our minds come with it too? If someone has been dealt a bad hand in the way they grew up, what ‘cast’ can we put on their mind that would promote brokenness to be mended, the positive overcoming the negative?

Unfortunately, because of background, or negative influence, we develop scripts that can destroy our lives, and dictate every single decision we make. No longer is it just the external influences, our very own subconscious becomes an enemy, poisoning every experience with that negative script! Leading to a decision that just takes us deeper into pain, breaking us even more.

But what if there were words we could speak over ourselves, exercises we could do to train our minds/hearts to overcome these events, and still make a decision for the good of our lives (and even those around us when we have families). What if Life could heal itself? It’s all over nature, with trees overcoming harsh weather or surviving fires, plants naturally taking in negative carbon dioxide and filling the air with positive oxygen for more life to grow. It’s already happening all around us!

Successful minds, have this knack for beating the equations of brokenness. Some of them coming from destructive backgrounds, and yet achieving so much in their lives that many would look up to. They have a way of seeing the possibilities, more than their past. They can still create dreams when they should be having nightmares! What would it take for you to adopt that kind of thought pattern?

I’ve understood that some people are more aware  of their possibilities than others. Some people, just don’t know they can live better, believe more of themselves, or achieve greatness in any way. The external elements never provided them with those possibilities. Yet, one trick was to find those possibilities in any way shape or form, even if it didn’t come from their own experiences, then learning to believe that those possibilities could be their own. Never an easy task, but it’s just one way.

Can your Heart heal itself?

Can your Heart heal itself?

I’m not going to say I know all the answers, but I’m definitely looking for them. Life is what’s within us. If our bodies, which house this life, can heal themselves, then I truly believe there is a way for Life to heal itself within us as well. Any broken bones need a cast, or else there’s a risk that they set badly. I know another kind of ‘set’, and that is the mind-set! How do we promote its proper setting in the case of brokenness? I’m sure I’ve covered some ideas in this blog before, and I’m positive there are many more ‘heals’ for us to experience within us.

It’s a high-speed chase, to be Hot on the ‘Heals’ of Life! It requires a great ability to be self-aware. Knowing your emotions, and being aware of the decisions you make in a situation, the feelings that go with these processes, and understanding when you’re dealing with either a bad experience, or even worse, a badly set mind!

The journey is immense and requires massive accountability to self, and those we love…but it’s a journey worth taking.

The Maze of life is full of dead-ends. Some stay there and become what the environment dictates, but some choose to turn around and seek a new path and determine life for themselves. To be a success you’ll have to take responsibility for your actions, but when Life is defined by what happens around you, it’s harder to take that responsibility and own the life you live.
However, when Life is what is inside you, your essence, your being…then making great choices – and even dealing with poor ones – becomes something within your grasp!

Live the life you chose, not the one that your past had planned for you!

And even if something has gone wrong, Life has some healing mechanisms in place, but you have to apply the right ‘cast’ for them to work in your favour. Maybe the ‘cast’ could be positive affirmation, the memory of a success you achieved, a picture you’ve kept, or even the words of someone who believed in you. Whatever it is, it will help you ‘heal’.

Are you hot on the ‘heals’ of Life?


As the years wear on, it is interesting for me to note that all the people I look up to and respect are either dying, or disappearing under the guise of retirement. There are few inspirational figures left. I mean truly inspirational! There may be one or two coming up, but I really worry about the calibre of people we call the ‘influencers’ today.

This anxiety comes from a few factors governing our world today that affect our discovery and interaction with influencers, the main factor being technology. With the proliferation of the internet and its mutated social media ( Facebook, Twitter and blog sites), we are bombarded by the vast choice presented to us in the form of ‘new faces’. I call them ‘new’ because we didn’t see most of them in magazines, or in the news, we discovered them on the net! You could be reading this blog entirely because you stumbled across it, and not because I’ve made waves in the world of thought! I’m actually a ‘new face’ to many of my readership.

Seeing that the internet opens the doors to eyes, it must also give these eyes access to us ‘content providers’. The thing is these ‘content providers’/’new faces’ could be anyone, saying anything, and they will instantly have access to a potential of millions of ‘followers’! How many they actually  access is a combination of popularity and marketing.

As I said before, this is worrying me. Many people have a lot of junk to say, and they get in the way of those who have jewels to offer. That being said, this is also an opportunity, for I believe some who were hindered by needing to be seen on Oprah, can just open a WordPress account like me (hehehe…), and begin to articulate and showcase their offering to the world.

It could be you...

It could be you...

Tomorrow’s faces, are born out of today’s opportunities. If you can seize what is around you right now, you have almost no excuse to start impacting people. Definitely you’ll have to be good at articulating yourself, in a way that can be taken in by others; not only that but you’ll also have to have something worth reading/listening to capture people. (It’s nice to know through Twitter that your car has broken down. It is even better to see an inspiring thought worth remembering and earning the coveted “Retweet”!)

I believe when I have books out, I’ll be able to put barcodes in my references that link your cellphone to this website, to see what I meant in full. I may be years off from doing it, but I have determined that I WILL be a face of tomorrow. However, it starts now.

The opportunities you leverage today, will affect the life you live tomorrow. It is a simple equation with devastatingly beautiful results if you take advantage of it. You may not be a superstar now, but if you can take the little steps now, you’ll be surprised the kind of person you become in a year or two (yes, YEARS, no shortcuts unfortunately). For me, it was starting this blog, aiming to be consistent, taking criticism, hoping to make it to the front page one day…etc. I’ve started, and my idea of the mobile barcode references is just a little bit closer to a reality, because the technology exists, and I already have content! What have YOU got?

I have a sneaking suspicion that most people think that they will just wake up to the perfect spouse and with lots of money, but you only wake up to the effects of a choice you’ve made. If you choose to have a life that is a series of one-night stands, then you will keep waking up to things that have to walk out your door soon. They can’t stay, or last, or grow, and if they have babies, you will call them  ‘mistakes’! However, if you chose to have a life that was a series of strong choices and commitments, you’ll wake up to lasting change, lasting growth, lasting joy.

This is important if you want to be a Face with Substance! It is easy to do something that will grab attention, but hard to do something that grabs attention AND is worth holding onto! This becomes an issue of character, which can only be developed through choices that have persevered long enough to be a part of you. It’s about the heart.

So then I will say this: To be the Face of Tomorrow, you must have Tomorrow’s heart Today!! In other words, it starts now! There is much to be gained, but you only gain it through a journey, not through events. We hear of the events in powerful people’s lives, and end up waiting for something to happen, yet the reality is that there are processes that need to be in place for any event to be of significance. You must BE somebody before you can TOUCH somebody!

So to all my fellow Future Heroes and Faces of Tomorrow, work on your art now. Refuse to wait till a door opens, seize the opportunities at hand now, don’t wait for moments, create them!

The world awaits, but your life doesn’t!